Friday, March 27, 2015


The Bottom Line: One man’s brash is another man’s pleasure.  I guess it’s fairly easy to understand someone taking offense to the antics on display here – heck, even the title is something you’d whisper depending on who’s within earshot.  This, like most of Ferrell’s stuff, is an over-the-top bonanza of uptight critic fodder.  Negative reviews are swirling with aggressive adjectives regarding the movie’s handling of sexuality, racism, homophobia and at length discussions of prison rape (and by ‘at length’ I mean…well, I guess I mean a few different things).  If you’re looking for political correctness in a Will Ferrell movie then – well, then this must be your first Will Ferrell movie.  The Get Hard gang isn’t here to promote an anti-anything agenda, it’s not here to tackle social issues – it’s here to mine the inherent comedy that exists when an impending prison term is bestowed upon a white, wealthy, soft-bellied, Brillo-haired, country club-dwelling man of privilege.  Ferrell is once again tossed in to the know-it-all-who-really-knows-nothing mold while Hart plays the straight-laced but hood-bred opportunist looking to move on up (for the sake of his wife and daughter).  In addition to the straight into Compton scenarios, the verbal fumbling and physical tumbling, a majority of the laughs – of which there are many – are brought about by the pairing of these two comedic icons.  Each of their bob-and-weave improv stylings complements the other rather well.  So there’s the people who’ll roll with the line-toeing comedy and have a grand time, the people who will legitimately be offended (don’t go; totally understand) and the people who won’t be directly offended but figure it must offend someone so they’ll now be offended as well (don’t sit near ‘em).  Admittedly, the wafer-thin, wet paper bag story is only in play to set up this special brand of funny – it’s not ground breaking or life changing.  Its 110 minutes of so-so storytelling that unfortunately fizzles out in a rushed and unfocused fashion.  If it’s funny, I’ll laugh – and I laughed quite a bit.  Get Hard may go soft at the end, but it’s difficult to deny that Ferrell and Hart make for a rousing comedic duo.

Starring: Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart
Directed by: Etan Cohen (screenwriter for Men in Black III, Madagascar 2 and Idiocracy)
Rated: R
Running time: 110 minutes
Story: A wealthy investment bank manager is convicted of a crime he didn't commit and prepares for prison with help from the guy who washes his car.

Official site:

HOME (C+/B/B+/A)

The Bottom Line: A somewhat huggable, animated sci-fi invasion flick that scoots along with a ton of eye-popping color and a dash of zany nonsense, Dreamwork’s Home is a surefire hit for the kiddos in your clan (my three boys really enjoyed it; 10yrs B, 8yrs B+ and 5yrs A).  The movie means well with messages about standing up for yourself and taking chances, and yet it never truly tries reaching for the stars…  The 90 minutes invested will zip along and along the way you’ll be surprised to find a little heart beneath all the candy-colored hijinks.  Bottom line though is that we’ve seen much of this before, and that’s not all together a bad thing – I just with it was a more memorable thing.  This’ll easily make for a fun family flick but, ironically (or helpfully), the title tells you the best location in which to watch it…

Starring the voices of: Jim Parsons, Rihanna and Steve Martin
Directed by: Tim Johnson (Over the Hedge and Antz)
Rated: PG
Running time: 93 minutes
Story: When Oh, a loveable misfit from another planet, lands on Earth and finds himself on the run from his own people, he forms an unlikely friendship with an adventurous girl named Tip who is on a quest of her own. Through a series of comic adventures with Tip, Oh comes to understand that being different and making mistakes is all part of being human. And while he changes her planet and she changes his world, they discover the true meaning of the word HOME. (c) Fox

Official site:

Friday, March 20, 2015


The Bottom Line: Divergent, last year’s first installment to the lackluster books-turned-movies franchise, was my least favorite movie of 2014.  And although I entered this sequel with a huge, hard-to-budge chip on my shoulder – my expectation was that it couldn’t be as bad as the first one.  And it’s not.  But that’s like saying my broken left leg doesn’t hurt as bad as my broken right leg.  Both legs are broken and, like these movies (thus far), both broken legs suck.  Insurgent mindlessly mashes together copycat elements of The Hunger Games, Inception, The Maze Runner, The Matrix and Twilight – but in doing so carelessly jettisons an out-of-the-box mindset that made most of those films special or unique (I tease about Twilight being special and unique, by the way).  There are exactly three things that I’ll give Insurgent positive credit for: 1) it’s effective use of Miles Teller, who adds an energetic zing to his very few scenes (side note: go rent Whiplash…like now), 2) the ping-pongy, action-first narrative might be misshapen and rote but it still shields us from the nap-inducing world-building that plagued its predecessor and 3) the release of this flick puts us one movie closer to the end of this dreadful series.  This movie is lifelessly uninventive and woefully uninvolving.  It’s a hobbled together, awkwardly motivated glimpse in to a dystopian community that lacks in both intrigue and entertainment – and it cuts through its societal discord commentary as smoothly as a butter knife would a brick.  The story is meandering, the direction unfocused and the acting (again, aside from Miles Teller) is either lazy or unengaging…often both.  I’d normally offer up my wife’s take around this point but she (a lover of the books) has such a deep-seated hatred of the first film that she passed altogether on taking in the sequel.  I didn’t have a choice.  She did – and you do too.  Insurgent may be ‘better’ than Divergent – but it’s still remains an insufferable, insipid and insanely dull mess.

Starring: Shailene Woodley, Kate Winslet, Theo James, Jai Courtney, Miles Teller, Ansel Elgort and Octavia Spencer
Directed by: Robert Schwentke (RED, Flightplan, The Time Traveler’s Wife and RIPD)
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 119 minutes
Story: THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT raises the stakes for Tris as she searches for allies and answers in the ruins of a futuristic Chicago. Tris (Woodley) and Four (James) are now fugitives on the run, hunted by Jeanine (Winslet), the leader of the power-hungry Erudite elite. Racing against time, they must find out what Tris's family sacrificed their lives to protect, and why the Erudite leaders will do anything to stop them. Haunted by her past choices but desperate to protect the ones she loves, Tris, with Four at her side, faces one impossible challenge after another as they unlock the truth about the past and ultimately the future of their world. (C) Lionsgate

Official site:


The Bottom Line: So, um, apparently I’m a sucker for live-action Disney princess movies.  Damn you, director Kenneth Branagh!  With its simplistic yet timeless messages on hope, courage and kindness assuredly in place (and not beating you over the head with a cinder-coated fireplace shovel), this disarmingly charming belle of the ball is poised to rightfully do huge business and do for most 8-year old girls what The Hunger Games does for most 15-year old girls.  Now I don’t have daughters (so I have no idea what I’m talking about), but I do have hoop-shorts-wearing, Beats-by-Dre-listening, Madden-football-playing 10- and 8-year old boys who both really enjoyed it and gave it a B+ – so you do the box office math…  Branagh has respectfully and lovingly crafted a bare-bones, simplistically sincere, confidently charming and enchantingly dazzling film.  We may all very well know the story, but this regal recapturing gets a ton right from its efficient pace to its glorious costume design and art direction to the casting of Blanchett (the evil stepmother), Bonham-carter (the fairy godmother) and the oh-so-elegant and not-in-the-least-bit-ugly Lily James (Cinderella).  There’s not a huge amount of new ground being broken here, but it still remains a kind-hearted, handsome and huggably forthright film – a wonderfully whimsical delight for all ages.  Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Booyah!

Starring: Lily James, Cate Blanchett, Helena Bonham-Carter, Richard Madden and Stellan Skarsgard
Directed by: Kenneth Branagh (Thor, Hamlet, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and Dead Again)
Rated: PG
Running time: 115 minutes
Story: The story of Cinderella follows the fortunes of young Ella whose merchant father remarries following the tragic death of her mother. Keen to support her loving father, Ella welcomes her new stepmother Lady Tremaine and her daughters Anastasia and Drisella into the family home. But, when Ella's father suddenly and unexpectedly passes away, she finds herself at the mercy of a jealous and cruel new family. Finally relegated to nothing more than a servant girl covered in ashes, and spitefully renamed Cinderella, Ella could easily begin to lose hope. Yet, despite the cruelty inflicted upon her, Ella is determined to honor her mother's dying words and to "have courage and be kind." She will not give in to despair nor despise those who abuse her. And then there is the dashing stranger she meets in the woods. Unaware that he is really a prince, not merely an employee at the Palace, Ella finally feels she has met a kindred soul. It appears as if her fortunes may be about to change when the Palace sends out an open invitation for all maidens to attend a ball, raising Ella's hopes of once again encountering the charming "Kit." Alas, her stepmother forbids her to attend and callously rips apart her dress. But, as in all good fairy tales, help is at hand as a kindly beggar woman steps forward and, armed with a pumpkin and a few mice, changes Cinderella's life forever. [Walt Disney Pictures]

Official site: 


The Bottom Line: The age-old adage (that I’m actually I’m making up right now) is that if you’re let down with Liam Neeson’s latest action movie…just wait a month and see if his next one is any better…  On the surface, Run All Night looks like another one of his well-worn retreads where good battles evil and the life of a family member hangs in the balance.  Just under the surface though you’ll find…that that is actually the case – but with a slight twist. The twist, of course, is that this time out he’s actually delivered something pretty entertaining.  All wrapped up, it turns out to be Taken meets A Walk Among the Tombstones with a tinge of Road to Perdition – none of this is a bad thing.  The eye-for-an-eye setup is intriguing and welcomingly propels you through one gritty, bloodthirsty, down-and-dirty, pseudo-noirish, keep-moving-at-all-costs night in the Big Apple.  And both Neeson and Harris add a significant amount of cinematic heft to their roles while they toe the sympathetic hard-line of who has it worst.  You’ll get great acting, solid action and a nice tete-a-tete between these two icons that mimics (in a B-level sorta way) the much deeper and way more powerful Pacino/Deniro let’s-grab-a-cup-of-coffee scene from Heat.  This one, for the movie’s purposes, is still very effective and fun to watch.  This run through the city, however, is not without its fair share of pulled hammies – we’ve seen a lot of this stuff before, the direction could have been tighter and the intensity could have been ratcheted up had the movie truly enveloped a ticking clock scenario throughout.  Still, the movie finds a way to entertain and instead of Taken 4 we get taken for a fairly fun ride.

Starring: Liam Neeson, Ed Harris, Joel Kinnaman, Common and Vincent D’Onofrio
Directed by: Jaume Collet-Serra (Non-Stop and Unknown)
Rated: R
Running time: 114 minutes
Story: Brooklyn mobster and prolific hit man Jimmy Conlon (Liam Neeson), once known as “The Gravedigger,” has seen better days. Longtime best friend of mob boss Shawn Maguire (Ed Harris), Jimmy, now 55, is haunted by the sins of his past—as well as a dogged police detective (Vincent D'Onofrio) who’s been one step behind Jimmy for 30 years. Lately, it seems Jimmy’s only solace can be found at the bottom of a whiskey glass. But when Jimmy’s estranged son, Mike (Joel Kinnaman), becomes a target, Jimmy must make a choice between the crime family he chose and the real family he abandoned long ago. With Mike on the run, Jimmy’s only penance for his past mistakes may be to keep his son from the same fate Jimmy is certain he’ll face himself. Now, with nowhere safe to turn, Jimmy just has one night to figure out exactly where his loyalties lie and to see if he can finally make things right.

Official site:

Friday, March 6, 2015


The Bottom Line: Short Circuit meets Robocop in this visually bombastic, narratively schizophrenic flick about a reprogrammed robot fresh-mindedly learning about the societal scrapheap around him via his ‘adoptive’ Johannesburg, hip hop gang-banger parents. Yes, everything you just read there is true – I’m assuming you’re either in or out at this point.  This is a tale of two movies.  The first half (or first movie; aka the better movie) provides a barrage of goodwill via the endearingly beautiful CG design, intimately human-like movements and provocatively nuanced voice work of the titular character.  Sharlto Copley caringly breathes a great deal of life and childlike wonderment in to the motion-capture of CHAPPiE and it’s fairly wonderful to watch it all unfold.  Additionally, a cartoonishly khaki-clad Jackman effectively chews scenery and our titanium toddler finds a beating heart in a few well played motherly love scenes (that were, admittedly, far superior when I first saw them in Spielberg’s A.I. Artificial Intelligence). Then the second half shows up and hits like a spade shovel to the head – where warmth and intrigue are jettisoned by an overreliance on unfocused, heavy metal warfare.  It’s easy to get lost in the shuffle, but not for the reasons you’d think.  It’s not complicated; it’s just not that interesting.  Bullets fly, characters scuttle, people yell and there’s some ridiculous dialogue that dares to give meaning to all the mayhem.  It doesn’t.  It all comes across as forced, flat and fairly forgettable no matter how many saucepan-depth ideas on coddling, culture and consciousness are hurled in to the mix.  The entire second half wraps us in redundancy and, like the man of tin himself, ends up heartless and hollow.  This movie’s not as bad as many critics are leading you to believe, but you’ll have to dig for the goods – so just remember that with this robot movie…some assembly is definitely required.

Starring: Charlto Copley, Dev Patel, Ninja, Yolandi Visser, Sigourney Weaver and Hugh Jackman
Directed by: Neill Blomkamp (District 9 and Elysium)
Rated: R (for violence, language and brief nudity)
Running time: 114 minutes
Story: In the near future, crime is patrolled by an oppressive mechanized police force. But now, the people are fighting back. When one police droid, Chappie, is stolen and given new programming, he becomes the first robot with the ability to think and feel for himself. As powerful, destructive forces start to see Chappie as a danger to mankind and order, they will stop at nothing to maintain the status quo and ensure that Chappie is the last of his kind. (C) Sony

Official site:

Thursday, February 26, 2015


The Quick Fix: Finally, Will’s movin’ on up like George and Wheezy…
The Bottom Line: Not long ago, it was Will Smith’s world and we were pretty darn lucky to be living in it (most of the time; Seven Pounds and After Earth, I’m lookin’ at you).  Big budgets, high concepts, good times – a lot of us were more than happy to get jiggy with our freshest of box office princes.  The good news with his latest release is our Will of old – the charismatic charmer, the men-wanna-be-him-ladies-wanna-be-with-him movie star – is back in relatively full force.  Focus may lack some of the depth and organic, free-flow zing of more masterful con-man material (The Sting, Catch Me if You Can, Ocean’s Eleven, Matchstick Men, etc) but it still has a modicum of slyness and works on its own glitzy, chemistry-rich and fast paced terms.  Effectively dropping you in to the whirlwind world of high-profile con-artistry, it’s an efficiently slick and lightheartedly carefree double-cross ride that rarely takes itself to serious.  Seriously, just see it, have fun – it’s not hard to do.  Plus, Smith and the not-at-all ugly and pretty darn talented, Margot Robbie, have a cool-as-the-other-side-of-the-pillow chemistry that fuels the picture to its flimsily farfetched yet still somewhat fulfilling finale.  Although not his best work to date, I’ll gladly take this stylistic fluff over another wild wild mess.

Starring: Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Rodrigo Santoro, BD Wong and Gerald McRaney
Directed by: John Requa and Glenn Ficarra (Crazy Stupid Love and I Love You Phillip Morris)
Rated: R (for language, some sexual content and brief violence)
Running time: 105 minutes
Story: Nicky (Will Smith) is a seasoned master of misdirection who becomes romantically involved with novice con artist Jess (Margot Robbie). As he’s teaching her the tricks of the trade, she gets too close for comfort and he abruptly breaks it off. Three years later, the former flame—now an accomplished femme fatale—shows up in Buenos Aires in the middle of the high stakes racecar circuit. In the midst of Nicky’s latest, very dangerous scheme, she throws his plans for a loop…and the consummate con man off his game. [Warner Bros.]

Official site:

Saturday, February 21, 2015



It’s Saturday and you don’t have time to read explanations as to why I've made the picks I've made in each category – you need a ballot filled out and you need an Oscar pool win.  I've seen most of the movies represented here (aside from the shorts and the foreign stuff; they tend to not be my bag – whaddaya gonna do; I’m not a complete movie nerd) and have followed all the precursor awards.  For the most part, I know of what I speak or vote. The Best Picture (Birdman v. Boyhood), Best Director (Birdman v. Boyhood) and Best Actor (Redmayne v. Keaton) make for a heated two-horse race…

Keep in mind Birdman was my favorite flick of 2014 and I JUST watched it again last night – still love it – so I’m going strong with the superhero-turned-stage actor story in all three of the aforementioned categories.

Another factor to take in to consideration is the fact that I loathed Boyhood.  If you’re not a critic, carve out a few days and give it watch – you’ll quickly understand why…

Here are my grid picks (click to enlarge). Good luck and Happy Oscaring!

Friday, February 20, 2015


The Quick Fix: An uplifting, culturally resonant film for the whole family!
The Bottom Line: Based on a true story, this high school cross country culture clash should prove to be another solid sports hit for both Disney (Remember the Titans, Miracle and The Rookie) and Kevin Costner (Field of Dreams, Bull Durham and Tin Cup).  Like chocolate and peanut butter, it’s a wonder these two properties never teamed up sooner…  You’d have to try really hard to not like this movie or, at the very least, walk away without gleaning a positive vibe.  It may have formulaic, underdog-like fringes – but Costner delivers a soulfully steadfast performance and it’s themes on work ethic, character, family, community and acceptance all resonate and are handled with compassion and understanding.  So much so, that my 10- and 8-year old sons (fans of athletics in general) ended up loving it, handing out double-down A’s and then asking more questions in regards to the cultural aspect of the film than the sport itself.  McFarland, USA may be a movie about runners but there’s enough warmth, humor and spirit to help you and your family cross the finish line in inspirational fashion.

Starring: Kevin Costner and Maria Bello
Directed by: Niki Caro (Whale Rider and North Country)
Rated: PG (for thematic material, some violence and language)
Running time: 129 minutes
Story: From Disney comes MCFARLAND, the true against-all-odds story of the 1987 McFarland high school cross country team in an economically challenged community. (C) Disney


The Quick Fix: Sux Capacitor.
The Bottom Line: Making its 2010 predecessor seem Shakespearian by comparison, Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (yes, I actually went and saw it) is a classic example of a sixty-second movie trailer containing every last ounce of humor the 93-minute movie would allow.  Take a dry beach towel…now try and wring water out of said beach towel.  Yup, that’s this flick.  Admittedly, the semi-focused 80’s time trip of the original played right in to my cultural wheelhouse (Walkmans, acid wash jeans, wine coolers, Vuarnet’s, et al) and allowed me quite a few memorable laughs – it was a fun, if not classic, trip back in time.  Ten minutes in to this flat and lifeless ‘crapsterpiece’ and it becomes immediately evident why John Cusack refused to make the return trip.  Aside from a sparse smattering of chuckles and laughs, this is a lazily obnoxious, meanderingly disjointed, alcohol-fueled, bong water-logged mess.  In the end it's as if a wild haired director looked at his wide eyed actors and simply said ‘Script?  Where we’re going we don’t need – a script’.  My only hope at this point is for a third film to be greenlit so they can travel back in time and undo the dull damage they created here with part two... 

Starring: Craig Robinson, Steve Corddry, Clark Duke and Adam Scott
Directed by: Steve Pink (Hot Tub Time Machine and About Last Night)
Rated: R (for crude sexual content and language throughout, graphic nudity, drug use and some violence)
Running time: 93 minutes
Story: When Lou finds himself in trouble, Nick and Jacob fire up the hot tub time machine in an attempt to get back to the past. But they inadvertently land in the future with Adam Jr. Now they have to alter the future in order to save the past - which is really the present.
Official site: